Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Dr who forth doctor quotes The Pirate Planet

The Doctor: You're not doing very well, K9.
K9: Master?
The Doctor: No.
K9: Suggestion, Master.
The Doctor: What?
K9: Suggest you allow Mistress to make contact.
The Doctor: Nonsense! Making contact with an alien race is an immensely skilled and delicate operation. It calls for tact and experience- what would she know about it?
Romana I: Excuse me...
K9: She is prettier than you, Master.
The Doctor: Is she? What's that got to do with it?
The Doctor: Where did you get those jelly babies?
Romana I: Same place you get them.
The Doctor: Where?
Romana I: Your pocket.
The Doctor: Good looks are no substitute for a sound character.
The Doctor: Extraordinary! The place is littered with them! Diamonds...Andromedan Bloodstones...gravel.
The Doctor: Has anybody seen a planet called Calufrax?
The Doctor: Excuse me, are you sure this planet's meant to be here?
Guard: This is a forbidden object.
Romana I: Why?
Guard: That is a forbidden question. You are a stranger?
Romana I: Well, yes.
Guard: Strangers are forbidden.
Romana I: I did come with the Doctor.
Guard: Who is-
Romana I: Ah, now, don't tell me, Doctors are forbidden as well.
The Doctor: Hullo? Are you by any chance the Mentiads?
The Doctor: It's just that...you look like Mentiads to me...
Guard: Get in
Romana I: I shall take that as an invitation. [Hands guard telescope] Thank you. [Climbs in] Will you drive? I assume you know where we're going.
The Doctor: It's an economic miracle! Of course it's wrong.
Kimus: Do you drive these things for a living?
The Doctor: No. I save planets, mostly.
The Doctor: Well, I just put 1.795372 and 2.204628 together.
Romana I: And what does that mean?
The Doctor: Four!
The Doctor: A plank!?
The Captain: The theory is very simple. You walk along it. At the end you fall off. Drop 1000 feet. Dead.
The Doctor: You can't be serious!
Mr. Fibuli: Captain, sir.
The Captain: Speak, Mr. Fibuli.
Mr. Fibuli: The Psychic Interference Transmitter, sir; There seems to be something counter-jamming it.
The Captain: What!? We Dematerialize in three minutes! [into a loudspeaker] ALL GUARDS ON ALERT! SOMEONE IS USING A COUNTER-JAMMING FREQUENCY PROJECTOR! FIND IT AND DESTROY IT IMMEDIATELY!!!
Mr. Fibuli: Captain, do you suppose any of the guards know what a "Counter-Jamming Frequency Projector" looks like?
Pause
The Captain: DESTROY EVERYTHING!!!
Romana I: Newton? Who's Newton?
The Doctor: Old Isaac. Friend of mine on Earth. Discovered gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity, I had to give him a bit of a prod.
Romana I: What did you do?
The Doctor: Climbed up a tree.
Romana I: And?
The Doctor: Dropped an apple on his head.
Romana I: Ah, and so he discovered gravity?
The Doctor: No, no. He told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner

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