Sunday, 9 January 2011

Torchwood quotes kiss kiss bang bang

Gwen: Excuse me, have you seen a blowfish driving a sports car?
Gwen: Thank you. 
Old Woman: Bloody Torchwood.
Ianto: Woah, that never beeps.
Jack: That's what I was thinking.
Captain John Hart: Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!
John: Did I mention I'm armed?
[John has skulled half a bottle of vodka]
Jack: So, how was rehab?
John: Rehabs. Plural.
Jack: Drink, drugs, sex and ...?
John: Murder.
Jack:You went to murder rehab?
John: I know. Ridiculous. The odd kill, who does it hurt?
Jack: You clean now?
John: Yeah, kicked everything, living like a priest.
Jack: You have to go, I want you off my territory.
John: What? Time was you couldn't get enough of me on your territory.
Jack: Meet Captain John Hart. We go back.
John: Excuse me, we more than go back. We were partners.
Ianto: In what way?
John: In every way. And then some.
John: It was like having a wife.
Jack: You were the wife.
John: You were the wife...
Jack: No, you were the wife...
John: Oh, but I was a good wife!
Tosh: I bet you were! What, don't pretend you haven't noticed...he's cute.
John: They're just shy.
Jack: Oh yeah, I love that office-y feel. I always get excited in these places. To me they're exotic. Office romances... Photocopying your butt, well maybe not your butt, although whilst we're here why don't we photo-
Ianto: The rift was active at these coordinates, approximately 200 feet above ground. That means this floor or the roof.
Jack: How are you, Ianto?
Ianto: All the better for having you back, Sir.
Jack: Can we drop the 'Sir' now? I mean, while I was away, I was thinking, maybe we could...You know, when this is all done...Dinner, a movie...?
Ianto: Are you asking me out on a date?
Jack: Interested?
Ianto: [stuttering] Well, as long as it's not in an office...Some fetishes should be kept to yourself.
Jack: Looks like we're going to have to go through every drawer, bin and plant-pot.
Ianto: Right, OK. I'll do this floor, don't want you getting over excited. You take the roof, you're good on roofs.
Ianto: Jack? Why are we helping him?
Jack: He's a reminder of my past, I want him gone.
Jack: By the way, was that a yes?
Ianto: Yes, yes...
John: Oh, that's gorgeous.
Gwen: That's a poodle.
John: S'Nice!
John: Oh, by the way, I found Gray.

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