Torchwood quotes day 1

Jack: All right, usual formation.
Gwen: What's the usual formation?
Owen: Varies.
Gwen: How can the usual formation vary?
Gwen: ...Special Ops! I'm Special Ops...I'm with Torchwood.
Soldier: Don't mess with me, little girl. You're not with Torchwood. And even if you were-
Jack: -You'd have put out the welcome banners. Now, first of all, she's no little girl. From where I'm standing, all the right curves in all the right places...but she is Torchwood, we both are, and we'd appreciate it if you'd leave us to do the real work. Shall we?
Owen: Make yourself useful, sweetheart; pass us the big chisel from the toolbox.
Gwen: Not sweetheart, Gwen. One syllable, sure you can manage it.
Owen: Not sweetcheeks? Freckles? New girl?
Gwen:  It's a shame your tool's not big enough for the job, darlin'. Catch!
Gwen: He just...
Jack: Came and went.
Owen: Now that's how I'd like to go.
Tosh: I'm sure we could arrange it.
Owen: Happy birthday me. Oi, you lot, treat!
Tosh: Wow.
Jack: Wow.
Tosh: I thought she said she had a boyfriend.
Jack: You people and your quaint little categories.
Tosh: We should really get her out of there...
Jack: Yeah... I mean, yeah, come on!
Owen: I'll just... record a bit of this.
Gwen: So what's this supposed to do?
Jack: I'm using satellite tracking data to determine the intra-trajectory of the meteorite.
Tosh: He means he's trying to find out where it's come from.
Jack: Hey! Sometimes a little technobabble is good for the soul!
Gwen: You don't know anything?
Owen: Not who he is, not where he's from, not anything. Except... him being gay.
Gwen: No he's not. Really, do you think?
Toshiko: Owen does, I don't.
Ianto: And I don't care.
Owen: Period military is not the dress code of a straight man.
Gwen: I think it suits him. Sort of classic.
Toshiko: Exactly! I've watched him in action, he'll shag anything if it's gorgeous enough.
Gwen: We know he's from America, right?
Owen: Don't even know that for sure.
Toshiko: No US citizen by the name of Jack Harkness born in the last fifty years.
Gwen: Maybe his identity's classified.
Ianto: Used to be something big in the CIA, that's what I reckon.
Gwen: He must have his reasons for wanting to keep things secret.
Owen: Sure he has. Doesn't stop me from wanting to know.
Gwen: What are we doing, having Chinese while a girl fights for her life? We should be helping her.
Jack: Actually, while we've been eating, the computers have been running a full bio-scan on Carys, profiling her blood, metabolism, organs, the works. So we can see what effect the alien is having on her. They've also been taking samples of the air in the cell, so we can analyse any change in the environment around her. Now, is that enough? Do you want more? 'Cause... gets kind of boring.
Gwen: You've been hidden down here too long. Spending so much time with the alien stuff. You've lost what it means to be human.
Jack: So remind us. Tell me what it means to be human in the twenty-first century.
'[After finding Owen in the cell naked]
Tosh: Jack, Carys is out of her cell!
Owen: Cheeky bitch took my swipe card.
Jack: I'll deal with it. Tell Owen he needs to work on those abs a bit harder.
Owen: I was taking some readings, you know, keeping an eye on her, and bang!
Tosh: You got away lightly. Be thankful she was only interested your swipe card.
Gwen: Are you alright now, or are you still feeling a bit of a cock?
Ianto: Need me to do any attacking, sir?
Ianto: It's narrowed the numbers down, I could check through the rest. You know, the old fashioned way. With my eyes.